I am a counseling psychologist who specializes in relationship coaching and education. Relationship coaching is different from psychotherapy in that its purpose is not to diagnose and treat a mental disorder or condition, but to help you improve a specific arena of your life in which you feel frustrated, disappointed, conflicted, confused or just plain stuck.
Individual Coaching
When working with you individually to help improve your relationships, I start with your relationship with yourself. I learn a bit about your family history, cultural background and personality features to get a better understanding of what motivates you, how you cope with stress and how you protect yourself.
Some typical challenges for individuals are:
Communicating thoughts and feelings assertively
Building or re-building trust
Choosing a potential partner wisely
Recovering from break-up or divorce
Becoming more successful at dating
Clarifying your sexual values
Making decisions about sex that you don't regret
Breaking a pattern of choosing partners who treat you badly
Learning how to identify, access and modulate your emotions
Overcoming being too distant, too smothering, too controlling or too needy
Improving confidence
Managing conflicting relationship values such as wanting autonomy and wanting connection
Couples Coaching and Education
Couples go through developmental stages just as individuals do. When working with couples I will learn about you both as individuals, and then also learn about the relationship as a dynamic work in progress.
Some typical challenges for couples are:
Managing conflicts better
Balancing power in the relationship equitably
Managing finances in a way that is agreeable to both partners
Keeping your sense of self intact while loving your partner
Balancing the commitments of career, relationship and family
Communicating thoughts and feelings assertively
Overcoming breaches of trust
Moving from anger to compassion
Maintaining a satisfying sex life
Increasing empathy for your partner
Whether I am working with you individually or as a couple, I will first help you make your goals specific and tangible by clarifying how you will recognize a satisfying outcome. How do you want your values and beliefs to show up in your behavior and decisions? If you are a couple, are your individual goals at odds with relational success? If so, is there some mutually-satisfying middle ground?
We will work collaboratively on
identifying
the emotional, cognitive, physical, behavioral and environmental influences that create obstacles to the outcomes you seek. From there I will help you construct specific, doable, tangible
steps towards overcoming those obstacles (or viewing them differently so they are no longer obstacles). Throughout our work
together you will get practical, research-backed tools
for efficient, effective, lasting change such as reading assignments, written
exercises, new communication skills or actions to practice.
My coaching style is active, direct, challenging and warm, and I believe in the power of humor to facilitate difficult changes. I come from very diverse ancestry and enjoy working with any sexual identity, orientation, ethnic and cultural background.
Public Speaking
I am also available for keynotes, retreats and singles and couples workshops. Learn more about my public speaking here.